Kim Kardashian wears lingerie (Dance, puppets!)

You ever get in one of those moods where you just want to post pics of hot celebrities on your awesome blog all day? If you couldn’t tell by the Jennifer Aniston and Erika Eleniak (I think?) posts, I’m in one of those moods. To wrap this show up, here’s buttlacious Kim Kardashian modeling lingerie designed by Pussycat Dolls founder Robin Antin. Also with Kim is Aubry O’Day of Danity Kane and Pussycat Doll Melody Thornton. But none of that really matters because, holy shit, it’s Kim Kardashian in lingerie. I could write the location of the Holy Grail* down here and you wouldn’t even notice. That’s why I love you guys. *sniff* You make me so damn proud…

*Hint: Take a closer look at Lil Jon. Hyeah!

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Jennifer Aniston: For your bikini viewing pleasure

Yesterday it was short shorts, now today it’s Jennifer Aniston in a bikini. Evolution is awesome. Take a gander of Jennifer chilling in Miami where’s she’s filming Marley & Me. Also scope out this pic (Click here as if your life depended on it.) where, if I’m not mistaken, Jennifer Aniston is challenging Kate Hudson to an Ass Off. Of course, the real winner is Owen Wilson that hook-nosed rogue. Time for drastic measures. Hammer, meet nose. *CRUNCH* Yup, it definitely broke right off. Not good. Fluffy, no, bad kitty! Get that out of your mouth. Don’t go outside! Ah, shit. Great, now the neighbors are calling the cops. They think I’m Michael Jackson. It’s all a misunderstanding, folks. Ha ha I hate kids! No, really, bring one over and I’ll kick him into the garage door.

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Erika Eleniak still alive and soooooo hot

Does anyone remember Erika Eleniak? The smoking hot babe from Baywatch, Under Seige and, more importantly, Playboy. Basically she’s a national treasure. The paps caught some shots of her filming a movie that I can’t find a reference to anywhere. This might be an Ashton Kutcher prank, but who cares? He dug up Erika Eleniak and tossed her in a swimsuit. It’s the archaeological find of the century. I mean, she’s pushing 40 and looks banging. I’d throw 22-year-old Lindsay Lohan under a bus to get at Erika. Of course, there’s lots of things I’d throw Lindsay under a bus for – like a Klondike bar. Or a shiny penny.

Scary Spice still looks questionably hot in bikini

Scary Spice (a.k.a. Melanie Brown) continued her Miami vacation by jet-skiing with her husband Stephen Belafonte. She definitely looks better in these pics than earlier ones but has some questionable features. That being said, after perusing your comments I’m afraid I have to address a very controversial topic. I never thought in 2008 I’d have to discuss such issues, but I need to make the most serious and professional statement of my life:

The Superficial Writer’s wang is an equal-opportunity lover of the va-jay-jay. Whether it be black, brown, white, Chinese, Danish, bran muffin or a LEGO castle covered in Pam cooking spray, odds are my weiner will hit that. Discrimination is for assholes. Oh, right, and also Mel “Sugartits” Gibson. Ha ha, that guy hates stuff.

Now that that’s out of the way, good Lord, what happened to this woman’s face? Did she jet-ski into a coral reef?

Priyanka needs time to move into dream home

Mumbai, March 18 (IANS) Priyanka Chopra’s dream home is ready and the actress is delighted. But she hasn’t moved in yet and will do so when she has the time to do it up herself.

‘I’ll have my house-warming party and move to my new place only when I return from Miami in July. My parents have shifted though, leaving me by myself in our old place,’ she grumbled good-naturedly.

‘Last week my parents had a house-warming party for their friends. Since I had no time, I refrained from inviting any of my friends. Isn’t that sad? We had to postpone our shift several times. We were supposed to move in last Diwali, but the interiors had to be completed,’ the actress told IANS.

Priyanka is house-proud. ‘It’s such a feeling to own a home that I’ve watched come up brick by brick. Full marks to Suzanne Roshan for making my dream home a reality. I think her aesthetics are very close to mine. My parents’ apartment and mine are adjacent (as they were in our earlier residence) and are so beautifully done. Both have been done up differently.’

Since Priyanka is shooting non-stop to complete Madhur Bhandarkar’s ‘Fashion’ before rushing off to complete ‘Dostana’, she can’t pack beyond the stuff she’ll need for her trip to Miami.

‘But my mom is packing my belongings that I’ve accumulated over the years. I wish I had more time to enjoy this important move in my life. But I am free only in July after I finish shooting ‘Fashion’ and Karan Johar’s ‘Dostana’. After that, no more assignments for the time being and only then will I get some time to move in and enjoy my new home.

‘Until then, I’ll be happy watching my parents enjoy our new home. Their happiness means more to me than my own,’ she said.